PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
