I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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