he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
