I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
