and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
