I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
