He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
