Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Couch. On fire.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
