Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
