What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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