i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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