There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm really busy with my period
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