She is in my trunk
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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