At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
