shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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