I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
