I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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