i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
