just survived the first fart of the relationship.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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