so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
