i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
