btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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