I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
