At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
