dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
