Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We are all done wearing pants today
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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