Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
