my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The struggles of a small town man whore
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize