I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
