She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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