just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
