She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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