So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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