Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So here I am, sexting at work.
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