Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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