So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
ttyl tear gas
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
