I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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