I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
