I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize