well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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