I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
