I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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