2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
