i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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