It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
