My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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