the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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