Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
that may or may not have been my penis.
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