It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's blow job season.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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