No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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