the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
