so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
