it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He did a backflip because drugs
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
