do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize