I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
did you just send me my own nude
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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