Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
