Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
