I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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