i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
