But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
