I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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