I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
