I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Im part way to drunk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize