just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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