just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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