I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize