i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
