drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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