i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
