There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
