We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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