Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
