Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
