Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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