I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
