There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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