he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
